Black Love 101 or maybe not?

As I have taken some time in recent weeks to ponder over what my first blog would center around, I continuously came back to the state of the black family and contemporary African American relationships. There seems to be this significant divide in how black men and women engage one another in this day and age and it seems that as technology and other advancements have moved our society and culture, African American couples are not what they used to be. 40 Years ago the number of two parent households in the black community was somewhere near 65%. That number has been totally reversed to now reflect single parent households. What is the problem? Have sisters become to high maintenance and high powered, or are black men incapable of marriage and accepting their true roles?

I think that no matter what your position is on this question, we can all agree that there needs to be some formative change. I am slightly dejected by the fact that now black men and women have so much more opportunity at amassing a greater life: spiritually, educationally, professionally, socially, etc, yet we are rarely doing it together. Decades ago before women's rights, affirmative action and so on, all we had was one another, and that was enough. That level of unification personified love, family and hope. Let's find that time again; that man, that woman, that centerpiece to our community.

Some things need to change in order to get there so if I can offer a few small suggestions I would say this: (1) Spend some quality time understanding YOU as an individual and making the necessary improvements, so that when you are challenge to be the helpmate that God called you to be, you will be better prepared. (2) Give adequate recognition to your current circumstance and be realistic. That is to say that some of us get so high and mighty that we feel like anything less than a person who is perfect, is settling. That is the furthest thing from the truth. We are all flawed and need to be aware that it's not our imperfections that create difficulties for us, but rather our ignorance to the way in which we address the imperfections. We are often chasing the next big thing that is hot, with swag, etc, when often times, that thing that is best for us is an arms length away.

And that is my issue of the week.
Be good, Be kind and Be you,

Donrich L. Young